My mom's FIFTY-FIRST birthday was on the 4th, and naturally, she
wanted a birthday party (oh joy!) Because she knew that I would not
throw her the one she desired, she decided to give herself one.
Before
I continue, I think I should clarify on my thing with birthday parties:
I think by now, if you have read any of my other entries, you can
safely assume that I come from a family who's attitude is as big as its
population. That's usually a good thing; we don't put up with bullshit,
we stand up for each other, and if your backbone is composed of jell-o
and candy cigarettes, we will eat you alive. I'm speaking mostly of the
women in my family, myself included. Most of our men are smart enough
to stay the hell out of the way. Our wrath is MIGHTY! lol However,
because we all have such strong personalities, and such loud mouths,
drama has the tendency to stick it's nasty little nose in. Because of
Drama, that little punk-assed bitch, I have become a Party Nazi. After
the last few horrid get-togethers that were held at my house, I have
decided that although I will be more than happy to attend anyone else's
family gathering, I will not be having my own. (I am contemplating have
a party for the kid's birthdays, but, that's still up in the air)
SO, with that out of the way, I'll get back to the main topic....
Ok,
Mom wanted to have her party at one of our local parks, on the 5th, and
she wanted to invite the family. Cool, whatever, Mom. And, she wanted
to have cake, chocolate dipped marshmallows, and cakeballs.
Alrighty... My aunt volunteered to provided the cake. Check. Mom
wanted to do the marshmallows. Check. Oh, and guess who could do the
cakeballs? Che... uh, wait a minute! The conversation went like this:
Mom, "Heather said she wanted to do the cake."
Me, "Ok, that's good."
Mom, "So, I thought we could make chocolate-dipped marshmallows and cakeballs."
Me, "Ok, Mom, it's your party. If that's what you want."
Mom, "So, how 'bout if I do the marshmallows, and you make the cakeballs?"
Me, "WHAT? You want ME to make the cakeballs?!"
Mom, "Well, if you don't want to, I guess you could to the marshmallows..."
This
woman has been my mother for 33 years; I know her crafty ways. I've no
doubt I would have been the one doing those damned cakeballs no matter
what. lol
And, so, we set out over 2 weeks ago
to get the stuff we would need to create our goodies. I had PLENTY of
time to make them. But, Mom wanted me to wait until a day that she was
off so we could work on them together. That turned out to be the day OF
the party. Crazy old broad!
If Satan exists, I
bet his nutsack is made of cakeballs. Those fucking things are a pain
in the ass to make. I believe I told my friend, April, that they are
evil! I had melting chocolate all over the place. At one point, Zoe
decided that she was going to help me, which resulted in one of my
cousins finding a hair. ("But, I washed my hands, Mom!" The help was
short-lived, btw...) We had sticks to make cakePOPS, but, the sticks
wouldn't stay in the balls.
When I started out,
I had 47 to coat and decorate. In the end, I think I had 30? Maybe
35. I was working on those stupid things until 15 minutes after the
party started. They looked like shit, but they did taste pretty good. I
had one. The good thing was that I could polish those turds with some
shimmery gel icing. Shiny stuff makes everything look better! HA HA! I
told everyone to eat them and not look at them.
I
guess they didn't really turn out that bad; everyone seemed to like
them, as well as Mom's 'mallows. Heather's cakes were super cute. Her
husband made them; two red M&Ms (Mom loves Red). And, I thought Mom
had an ok turn out; a couple aunts, some of our cousins (hi, Aleah!),
April, and our kiddos.
I'm still a Party Nazi,
but I am glad that Mom had a good time. And, as much as I bitched
about it, if she ever asked/volunteered me to make cakeballs again, she
knows that I would.
I love you, Mom. Happy birthday.
Alicia
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