I have been trying to get used to the idea that I am a housewife
since last March. I'm not doing very well with it. In fact, I hate
it. I'm not saying that I don't like spending time with my kids, but,
in all honesty, I'm not made to be stuck at home 24 hours a freaking
day, 7 damned days a week. I am going bonkers!
Before
I got fired from my last job, I had worked 40+ hours a week at the same
place for about 8 years, minus about a year for medical leave and
various other absences. I was damned good at that job, too. I held the
job before that off and on for 10 years, and before then, I helped my
dad when he went to do yard work for little old ladies. I've been
working in one way or another since I was 7 or 8 years old. It's all
I've known.
This gig is the absolute worst gig
I've ever had. No pay, long hours, very few breaks, and ungrateful
clients, as well as very little and poorly skilled help. And, privacy?
Forget it! Even now, I can barely think to type without a five year
old busy body bugging the shit out of me. I'm lucky she can't read, or
it would be, "Mommy, why are you saying that", and, "Mom, what does that
mean?" *Sigh* Yes, it might be harsh, and no, I don't mean it all,
but, damn, I gotta have a break sometime, and if I can't vent, I'm going
to explode!
There has been some light at the
end of the tunnel. After a very stressful weekend, Nicholas mowed the
yard that I was going to have to mow (along with a very long list of
other things that I had to do). This was the first time he had EVER
mowed. I was very proud, and very grateful. Zoe has been doing a very
good job of keeping her room clean, with the help and encouragement of
the house fairy. www.housefairy.org I just wish that my children would
do things with a little more self-motivation and a lot less pushing and
prodding from Mom.
It was brought to my
attention today that perhaps I should stop babying my kids so much. I
know that's true. As long as I continue to do so, the kids, including my
38 year old, are going to continue to drive me nuts, and I am going to
continue to be miserable with my current position. This will do no
good, considering that I'm going to be home at least another year. It's
time to suck it up and buckle down.
It's
time to go. My 5 year old client/helper just made my bed, gave me a
hug, and told me that I was sweet a cookie. I guess staying home with
her and her big brother isn't always so bad.
OH! On a more up-beat note, I now have a 4.0 GPA! YAYYY!!!
Take care,
Alicia :-)
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